Ricky LaVaughn

2/5

When Roses Cry

Amazon.UK

Amazon.com

I thought the title of this book was excellent. It was romantic and kind of poetic, I felt. But then I realised it wasn't a romance at all (it's a thriller) but that only piqued my interest more. 

I couldn't quite make out the strange image above the rose on the cover. I thought it was a lock--but then my eyesight isn't what it used to be, it turns out it's a pair of eyes. Anyway, the cover is basic, and with hindsight a good choice for a thriller.The blurb excited me I must admit. I love multi personalty stories, and I can still remember reading Sybil by Flora Schreiber for the first time so this has a lot to live up to (yes, before anyone writes in, I do know the Sybil story was found out to be fake).

The blurb is powerful. It's no-nonsense (like the cover) and I like that. It's not dressed up with 'You'll love this book if you loved Blah-de-Blah. So far so good. The look inside... OMG!  I tried I really did. I SO wanted to enjoy this book. The opening sentence was a good hook, but that's where my interest ended. There was description after description. Nothing was left out. From hair, to eyes, to the colour and type of clothes the characters wore. I didn't think the author understood that the quote 'paint a picture with words' wasn't meant to be taken so literally. And it wasn't just the opening chapter, it was the entire sample.

Grammar and spelling wise the book was fine (I only spotted one error), but with so much over-writing this book has failed, I'm afraid. It's such a shame because I really wanted to like this one.

The book also had the POV all over the place, and by the end of the sample the character, June, wasn't the only one who thought she was hearing voices!

Blurb

After years of abuse, Juniper Hawthorne's mind dealt with the pain the best way it knew how--by becoming a hive of different personalities. She has overcome the trials of living on the streets, fighting in underground battles, and escaping from a demented cult. Now she handles the trials of an abusive ex-boyfriend, a psychotic past enemy, an overpowering boss, and even the divisions within herself. June must face her past and make the most powerful decision of her life. Will she execute her father, the man she believed she killed once already or give in to the new love of her life who is on a mission to stop her no matter the cost. 

When Roses Cry is a psychological thriller that explores Juniper's chaotic life and unearth the overwhelming truth of just who is the mysterious and vengeful Raven Dalk.

Carter Vance

2/5

The Return

Amazon.UK
Amazon.com

This book came to me comparing it to the Da Vinci Code, so I'm expecting NOT to like it. The cover is Christian and in keeping with the theme of the book, but the title and author name is lack lustre. It doesn't stand out among the rest in its genre. The blurb was full of 'If you like a great story you will like The Return', which irked a bit. Basically, the story is good verses evil.

The 'look inside' opens to an investment banker called Geoff having a holiday in France with his friend Jacques, but on his last day he finds a secret room (bookcase swings round to reveal another room! Gosh, now that hasn't been done before!) and he finds a room full of books, and coincidently discovers a lost book called the Templar out of the many that's there and he's only been in there a few minutes!

Finding the Templer leads Geoff to places such as Jerusalem searching through old libraries, but unbeknown to him he is being followed. 'Friend' Jacques isn't a friend after all and there is a good build up to that as Geoff thinks he's being paranoid. Personally, I think the author favoured the research to the emotion of the characters, and even though the research of this book seemed thorough, the characters (with the exception to Geoff) weren't fleshed out enough.

Anyway, Sarah and Peter were supposed to fall in love, marry and have a baby (which they did) but their characters were cardboard. So much so that I was surprised that they were the real main characters when Geoff sadly died (it was at this point where I stopped reading).

There were a few errors that could and should have been spotted before it was published, with a huge blooper in chapter four where the author failed to name the chapter and use question marks instead.

All in all I found that the chapters were just waffle and I barely reached half way through the book. There was just too much scene building and back story for my liking. If you don't mind a slow build, then this book is for you. I've not read the De Vinci Code so can't compare. Some nice character building of Geoff, though, and detailed scene setting if you like that sort of thing.

Just not for me. De VInci Code readers might not agree though.

Blurb
"Great story about the Knights Templar in action."
"A compelling story" 
"Thrills, suspense, action, intrigue This book has it all."

The Return is a story of the modern day fulfillment of the Grail prophecy.
The time has come for the prophesied return of Christ. Long thought extinct, the secret Order of Knights Templar battle the Dark Forces that fear His return.

At the center of this battle of good and evil is Sarah Davidson, an expectant mother, who has a unique heritage, and Peter Christos, her shipping magnate husband. The couple, who were married in the presence of the Ark of the Covenant, is confronted with a series of surreptitious schemes and attacks causing them to flee and seek a secure birthplace for their son.


They are aided in this endeavor by the Knights Templar, a clandestine organization that has, over the centuries, amassed enormous wealth and power and the organization to deliver it in anticipation of this day.

Ultimately, they engage in a grand battle for the prophesied birth

"A flavorful blend of history and prophecy"

"Exciting. A real page turner"

If you loved The Da Vinci Code, this is the book for you.

If you think we are living in the "end times", you'll love this book.

If you just like an exciting adventure, read this book!

Petra F. Bagnardi

1/5

A Veil of Glass and Rain

Amazon.UK
Amazon.com

The title is interesting, but the cover is awful. I can't see the author's name very well and there are some tiny words just above the name that I could only read after I clicked on the 'look inside' feature on Amazon.

I'm really not sure what the cover is supposed to be. Is it a flower? The veil (as in the title)? Is that a door, a gravestone or a window in the centre?

OK, move on. The blurb: first line I spot a grammatical error, but even if that comma wasn't there I'd still hate the first line. The rest of the blurb grated even more.

Moving to the 'look inside' I'm introduced to the main characters, Brina and Eagan as children. The scene is nice and I'm comfortable enough to read on, but the jump from that to chapter one where Brina is having sex with a man whose name she doesn't know is a jolt too much. By the end of the chapter I know she IS an adult but even so it's a huge jump.

There are grammar issues in the sample chapters but even if it had been clean I wouldn't  buy this book. At $7.34/£4.71 this is WAY too expensive for an eBook. Even a well-known author would struggle to sell at that price. 

Blurb:
She glanced up at him with teary eyes and met kind blue eyes, that contained the immense sky. 
Then they became friends.
Then they became lovers.
Then they became complete.

But at what cost?

When Brina is nine and Eagan is fourteen, they meet and become friends.
Over the years, their friendship deepens; their bond seems unbreakable.
When Brina falls in love with Eagan, everything changes.

(Recommended for ages 17+, due to sexual content and language)

John Hartnett

3/5

The Barber's Conundrum

Amazon.UK
Amazon.com

I didn't like the cover at all, and it didn't stand out against against others in its genre. It came to me as a 'collection of thirty-seven short literary humor pieces and humorous jokes that will make you laugh', so the dull-looking cover contradicted the blurb and I'm not expecting to like it at all, and normally I'd have skipped this book as boring and written by a wanna-be-but-never-gonna-be chancing author on the eBook wave. And even though the blurb was interesting, I'd never have gone on to read it. 

The blurb tells me The Barber's Conundrum it is a non-fiction book of musings of life. I'm intrigued but don't expect the irony and funny situations that I'm promised. Yes, the cover, put me off that much!

The opening chapter is an introduction to the author and why he wrote the book and guess what, it was funny. It was told in a nice, I'm-your-mate way and so I continue to read. Unfortunately the next chapter is football (or soccer. Is there a difference other than one being called football in one country and soccer in another?) so my eyes glaze over, but it picks up again by the third chapter and so I buy the book. 

The 'stories' are short, two to three pages at the most and the writing style is fun and light, and the irony and tongue-in-cheek jokes are all in place. I'm not patronised, and we're 'all on the joke together' as the author takes us through events that most have experienced in one way or another. The stories are American life but only a few chapters went over my head, it's a well-written book, and John Harnett is a funny guy with a talent for satire. 

Blurb:
The Barber's Conundrum and Other Stories is more than just a collection of thirty-seven short literary humor pieces that will make you laugh. It provides a treasure trove of tips and invaluable advice to help you navigate safely through marriage and relationships, raising kids and to finally understand the more peculiar aspects of day to day living that up until now, had been tossed into a big heap as just another one of God's mysteries. 

For example, did you ever wonder why weather reporters continue to stand in the middle of raging hurricanes to tell us what hurricanes are like when everybody else already knows what hurricanes are like? Did you ever wonder why people stop their cars in the middle of the street to let geese walk past even though geese have been flying long before Cro- Magnon Man was in knee pants? Did you ever think that if aliens do exist on our planet, most of them work in customer service? They do! 

All of that, and more is in the book, so what do you say? At $8.99, you're guaranteed to receive at least $10.50 worth of terrific advice and life extending laughter, which as we know is the best medicine, and there's never a co-pay with laughter so you're up well over $20 already and this is only the back cover. Think of the possibilities to save when you read the whole thing.

Chick lit by Rhonda Louise

Wombat Sushi

Amazon.com

Amazon.UK

4/5

A lovely vibrant cover. This book looked a lot of fun. The cover and title didn't tell me much: two women, wombats, sushi -- Australia? Japanese food? The colour was simple yet very striking. The blurb was told in recipe style which was good fun, but again doesn't say much about the book. Who is the character (or characters) and what kind of story will I be told? 

Nevertheless, I'm expecting laughs a minute with this book!

The 'look inside' doesn't disappoint, and I'm immediately hooked  as a character called Samantha is having a mental tussle with herself on whether to go for an audition for a 'high dance show'. I liked Samantha straight away. She's very identifiable as an ordinary young woman who isn't too confident: the girl next door. 

Samantha wins her audition and she and others are taken to Japan where they get into many scrapes, and this is where the story starts.This isn't a story of female solidarity in a foreign country, because no one really gets along with the other, which makes for brilliant comedy situations.

I thought I'd become lost with so many characters, but the author is skilful and the other characters don't take over. It's firmly Samantha's story.

Great one-liners and lots of comic moments. I predict great things for this author.

Blurb:
Wombat Sushi
How to make Wombat Sushi:
1. Take six Australian dancers and one singer who can’t seem to get along.
2. Add a pinch of stupidity, a dash of naïvety and loads and loads of alcohol.
3. Make sure the mixture contains absolutely no self-restraint.
4. Pour into a Japanese club and simmer for three months.
Caution: Definitely contains nuts!

Jonathan Hill

4/5

Maureen goes to Venice

Amazon.UK

Amzon.com

I love the cover of this book. I found it appealing and the artwork is just superb. I was disappointed with the blurb. I felt I was bombarded with an in-your-face-advertisement, but I'm promised 'laughs' from this short novel and judging by the reviews I don't think I'll be disappointed. 

The 'look inside' feature hooked me straight away and told me about the character whose journey I was going to share in 53 pages. It was funny, visual and I LIKED Maureen from the start (glad she's fictional, mind!).

The book is a multi-POV which was a little distracting at times, but it was a clean read. Maureen is a wonderful character whose heart is in the right place. She's bossy, clumsy and loud. The story took off at a good pace and carried on in a fun and light-hearted way, which I was enjoying. But then something happened, and it'd spoil the story if I said what, so that's just say it took a sinister turn, which didn't bode well with the 'fun' theme. Hill tried to pull it back, but didn't quite succeed in my opinion. Other's mightn't agree with me (I'm a sensitive soul), but it marred the book a little.

Apart from that, Maureen Goes to Venice has genuine laugh-out-loud and oh-my-god moments, and it shows that Jonathan Hill has a good grasp of people's psyche. The ending was in keeping with the fun theme and Maureen had her revenge if unintended. I found the creation of Maureen to be a charming and eccentric character, and refreshing from the either ditzy twenty-somethings women to the older male ‘loveable rogues’ that are often the focus in comedy fiction.

I feel there's more to Maureen and I want to get to know her better. I shall be reading more of her adventures and have the next book on my Kindle: A Letter for Maureen.

Blurb:

Voted one of the Top 3 Best Short Stories in The Best Indie Books of 2012 Awards.

If Maureen were real, I would advise you to avoid her like the plague. She somehow attracts disaster and farce in equal measure wherever she goes.

As she is fictional though, it should be safe enough for you to encounter her from behind your Kindle. 

Maureen had a disastrous trip to a modern art exhibition in ECLECTIC: Ten Very Different Tales. Well, now she's back in her own feature-length adventure!

The book will give you plenty of laughs and a taste of Italy, so join hapless Maureen on her Venetian break and just be glad you're not there with her! 

A comic story of ~13,500 words.

Selected as a RECOMMENDED READ on the Goodreads UK Amazon Kindle Forum.

FIVE STARS:  "Jonathan Hill, you've created a monster! She's atrocious and I want to read more!" (Amazon reviewer)

FIVE STARS:  "Enjoyable...funny...the character Maureen I just loved." (Amazon reviewer)

FIVE STARS:  "Fabulous!" (Amazon reviewer)

FOUR STARS:  "Maureen is a fantastic character." (Amazon reviewer)

FIVE STARS:  "A super little book, well-written and a great character in Maureen." (Goodreads reviewer)

FOUR STARS:  "This is not only a very amusing story, it also properly establishes Maureen as one of those fictional characters who you feel could carry an entire series." (Amazon reviewer)

FIVE STARS:  "I wish I knew someone like her in real life" (Amazon reviewer)
FOUR STARS:  "Kept me turning the page" (Amazon reviewer)

FIVE STARS:  "A very funny tour around Venice with Maureen." (Amazon reviewer)

Pete Sortwell

4/5

Dating In The Dark: sometimes love just pretends to be blind

Amazon.com
Amazon.UK

The cover was bright and fun looking and that and the title reinforced what the blurb said: a romance. 

Though the blurb read a little too slap-stick and I wasn't impressed, but the book has good reviews with people saying how funny it is, and I'm in need of a giggle . . .

As soon as I begin to read I don't think the book should have been pink--it's a bloke's book. It's very unPC and I don't like the main character, Jason, at all. He's a mini Jim Davidson. But I push on, as you do when you've spent 97p. 

As the blurb says Jason wants a girlfriend or as he insinuates, a shag that stays around and so thinks up a plan of joining a dating agency--for disabled people. He meets and instantly falls in love with blind Emma or so he says, (there is no romance at all in the book) we just have to take his word for it.

The author tries to inject some sympathy for the character by killing off his mum and making him regret his blindness pretence, but doesn't pull it off. The character really isn't a very nice person. He's very self-serving, and depressed or not, I couldn't like him. I also never had a clue as to why Emma liked him, especially as he made a pig's ear out of their only date!

The book was short, and in my opinion, undeveloped.  It was classed as a romance but if the comedy was spread out a little, more romance injected (at least another date or two with Emma)  and have Jason punished (by Emma) for being such a tosser, this book would be amazing.

For comedy and one-liners I give this book a five (the author's an awesome comic), but for romance it's a two. It's very near the knuckle and slightly derogatory towards women. Also, midgets, blind people and guide dogs. But you have been warned. Bottom line: it made me laugh A LOT.

Blurb: Jason isn’t a midget, he’s an inch and a half off. He’s too short for the police and too tall for the pantomime. He’s also single and has been for all of his 32 years. It’s depressing. But not as depressing as being told by his mother that he looks like Humpty Dumpty – after the accident. So with a face not even his own mother can love, it’s hardly surprising that he’ll try anything to get a woman to go out with him, even if it’s only for a single date.

With little interest in anything other than his quest for a woman and a nice bit of cod and chips, Jason needs to think outside the box if he’s going to find someone who’ll give him a chance.

Along with Barry — his best mate — Jason comes up with the only thing he thinks will work: dating a blind woman. However, to do that, he needs to pretend he’s blind himself, which is a lot harder than you might think … especially when guide dogs are so hard to come by.

Eventually Jason’s efforts pay off and he meets Emma, a pretty professional with a host of friends. When he takes her out, they instantly hit it off. But will Jason be able to fool both Emma and her best friend Jerry into thinking he’s blind?

With everything to play for, Jason faces the biggest challenge of his life, and nobody — especially not him — can see how it’ll all turn out.